i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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