Soap is not a condiment
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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