ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
