Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
