So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
