my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
