Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
