I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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