How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
