hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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