Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
