honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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