I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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