Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize