i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
