I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
