If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
