$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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