I just saw a hot homeless man
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
