Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
People in love make me want to vomit
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
