she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Another day, another engagement, another cat
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
