Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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