he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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