I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
