I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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