i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
