and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish my penis had a tongue
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
