i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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