I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
why is half of my head shaved?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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