have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
