I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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