Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
