I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
