my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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