Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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