Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
