i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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