Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think your dad took our porno
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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