Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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