Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
