Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
