And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
