What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
