This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
