Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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