Since when is my name a synonym for head?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
