Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
