5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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