I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
