I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I need to stop coming to work sober
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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