Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
