Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
