How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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